5 Life Lessons We’ve Learned as PK’s aka Preachers’ Kids

If you’ve read our last blog, you understand that there are a lot of things that children of preachers and pastors go through on a weekly and monthly basis. It’s different than being the child of politician where the child must press through the duration of their parent’s term. Unless the individual is elected again, the uptight, structured, and press filled lifestyle will slow down. PK’s don’t have this luxury because our role never stops or ends. Our struggles continue as adults (which is why we are writing this blog). Even when we drift off to our own careers, callings, and families, we still struggle with the reservations of what society or “church folks” will think.

Here are five life lessons we have for preachers’ kids.

1. Your life is your life. It’s about God’s calling on your life not your parents’

This goes for anyone out there growing up in the shadows of their parents’ pastoral careers. A lot of guys may experience this more than girls but just because your father is a pastor does not mean you have to be one too. It’s all about what GOD calls you to do. If you feel that the Lord is leading you to follow in your parents’ footsteps, then absolutely! However, there are a lot of parents who force their children into ministry and that’s not how it works. Ministry is about what God wants for us and His will for our lives. This is one industry that carries a lot of weight on your personal life, family, and outside career. Your life is your life. Whatever God has for you is for you. You can’t make anything happen that He doesn’t want for you. So, please keep that in mind if you are going through this dilemma.

2. You must find an accountability partner/prayer partner to help you get through life

A lot of people in the church assume that preachers’ wives and children don’t go through hard times. We smile, give hugs, and pray for everyone else and it seems like we have everything together but we don’t.

Find a good accountability partner/prayer partner that will help you through any and all seasons of your life. This is a serious role. You must find someone that is trustworthy and one that will not go out telling all of your business. You need someone that you can confide in and trust. This can be anyone from your parents, siblings, best friends, church mother, whoever you feel can really help you during your darkest days.

There are lot of things that can be “tempting” to say the least. You may want to sneak out of your parents house, go to a party with drinking, or have a “wild” night with your boyfriend. This is where your accountability partner must step in to get you straight but also guide you. So, this person has to be mature and strict enough to help you get back on the straight and narrow. Temptation will happen to the best of us. Remember, you are human as well.

3. You will make mistakes too

There are a lot of us that may feel pressured to be “Perfect Patties.” Eventually, we become fearful of everything or just want to break loose and rebel. It’s normal to fall short. It’s normal to make mistakes. This is why you should have that accountability partner to get you in line when you have these moments. Yes, people will talk about you and you will feel like your mistakes are magnified for the world to see. They may even remind you of what you did. So, what! EVERYONE, I MEAN EVERYONE makes mistakes. The only person that was perfect was Jesus and that’s why He became the living sacrifice for us all. Never forget that. You are young and you will want to live. You will have regrets over some of those of moments and they will turn into life lessons for you. That’s the point!! You will learn from those mistakes and hopefully lead and guide others before they do the same.

4. Don’t post everything

This is one is specifically for our youngsters out there. Don’t post everything. The last thing you want is a paper trail of all of your disrespectful posts and inappropriate pictures. If you feel some type of way about the church, your parents, or what you heard others are saying, DON’T POST IT! This will be fuel to the fire. Instead, find someone to talk out your frustrations to. Now regarding the inappropriate photos, this is just safety here girls. You have a future to look forward to. You don’t need a paper trail of nasty language, disrespectful posts, or nude photos of yourself. Just because you delete it, doesn’t mean it’s gone. Finally, you may think that your stuff is private but it’s not. There’s always someone lurking around or even following you on social media and can’t wait to tell your parents. Yes, it’s true, your parents will find out eventually so just don’t do it.

5. Be proud of yourself

Being a preachers’ kid requires a lot. You have every right to be proud of yourself and all that you’ve learned and gone through. You did not ask to be born into this family. God appointed you to be in this family. He specifically designed you for it. You are doing a great job. Yes, there will be times when you wish you didn’t have to do this. Yes, you will feel pressured and restricted. You will feel like your life is in a fishbowl. You will want to stay home sometimes and wish you could do whatever you want to do. Yes, you will make mistakes, Yes, you will be forced to suck up all of your problems to put the needs of others before yourself. Yes, you will want to cry and be mad at the world or even your church sometimes. Being a PK is not easy and you are doing a great job. You are surviving. For this reason, you have every right to be proud.

Keep it up.

Keep encouraging others.

Keep seeking God.

Stay focused on His word.

Keep praying.

And never lose hope.

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Topic of the Week Highlight:

This weeks topic of the week was inspired by our book of the month for May, “Katt’s in the Cradle” by Ginger Kolbaba and Christy Scannell.  Although this book unveils the lives of preacher’s wives, we decided to share what is like for the pastors’ daughters since we have firsthand experience in that field. Stay tuned for our review of the book.

Thank You Dr. King…

My sister and I have grown up to adore history especially African American history. Together we have spearheaded multiple black history programs and lessons for our church. One thing that always crosses my mind is how much I love the civil rights era. If I could time travel back to one specific era, this would be the one. I would love to march with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I would sing in the mass choirs on Sunday mornings. And of course, I would love to go back and meet all of my relatives from this time. One of the most significant things that I would attempt to do is meet Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. There are a lot things that I would say to him. Most importantly, I would speak a word of gratitude to him. Here are a few things I would say.

Thank you Dr. King,

Thank you Dr. King for the continuous effort you poured into the civil rights movement.

For not giving up despite the hardships created by the politicians, officers, and associations that used every thing possible to allocate obstacles.

For being the modern day Moses for our mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers.

For providing a dream and hope to not only the African American community but all of the communities that felt less than.

For all of the hard work you’ve done to speak, march, and work for the generations you could not meet.

For preaching the Word of God despite your personal worries and hardships.

For being the ambassador of a walking congregation.

And most importantly, for taking the time away from your wife and family to focus on the injustices of this nation. There are a lot of things you could have chosen to do besides your life calling, but you said yes and focused on the word of God.

So thank you Dr. King.

As you can see, I am truly a fan of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I have several of his sermons on my computer including his last, “I’ve been to the mountaintop.”

Although I’m truly grateful for his leadership in the civil rights movement. I can’t continue without acknowledging my gratitude for all of the people that have marched and labored for change.

It’s so amazing to be able to watch African American documentaries and see how far this nation has come. Yes, we still struggle in areas of racism, divisiveness, and poverty. However, there has still been progression over the past few decades. I thank the Lord for what has improved. Without the progression, I would not have graduated from college or be able to get the job I have today. There’s proof. So I’m grateful for the persistent generations before me from slavery to today who did not stop until they saw change. And now, I have seen what they worked so hard for.

So to Dr. King and the generations before me, thank you.

Why Do I Feel Behind?

There are and will be a lot times that you will work so hard in school and at work and wonder why everyone else is 10 steps ahead. You feel like the work that you are doing has no benefit and you’re just that one person lagging behind everyone else and their achievements. I know one cause of that is social media. Social media is great when it comes to talking with old friends and connecting with family across the country. On the other hand, it can hinder your emotional, mental, and spiritual development as you go through life. You are constantly looking at everyone’s achievements and see how they are getting married and starting a family and you think, “I wish I had that.” It’s all part of growing up and getting older. There will be friends that will appear to be 10 billion steps ahead and everything looks like life is so smooth for them, but it’s really not.

One thing that we fail to realize is often we forget that we are all living this thing called life. Life comes with so many ups, downs, good days, and bad days. And one thing I do know for sure is that everyone does not look like what they’re going through. That’s the crazy part about it. Sue isn’t going to post every single harsh part of her day on social media because that will interfere with the great, lovely, life she is displaying. So instead of focusing on all of the bad things, she may focus on a few. Then when you start your weekend and find yourself going through obstacle after obstacle, you’re thinking, “Sue didn’t struggle like this.” In reality, she did. She just did not post that on her social media page for you to think that.

Long story short, we all have struggles. We all go through bad times and harsh seasons. And most of all, we all have those moments of feeling behind, confused, and lost. BUT the one that forces me to realize what I have is looking at what I have. I think about the beautiful family that God has blessed me with, the opportunity to go to school and learn everyday, and knowing that God has created me, ME and has a great plan for my life. Those things are what makes me feel like I’m right where I need to be and I want you to do the same. Look at all of the wonderful things God has done for you and look at where you are now. I bet you have grown into a wonderful person filled with so much talent. I bet you are so super smart and has a smile that brightens up a room. I bet you have so much potential to do the most amazing things. That what makes you right where you need to be.

Don’t worry about where everyone else is because they don’t live the life you live. You are in charge of that life. And most of all, you are where you need to be to grow and be successful in your life. So don’t worry about feeling behind, but it is normal to have those thoughts. But think about where YOU are in YOUR life and that should remind you of all of the beautiful blessings God has in store for you!

Red Nose Day!

We’re celebrating Red Nose Day here at Be A Girl Like Me! Inc. You can get these at Walgreens for a dollar to end child poverty. #BeAGirlLikeMe and celebrate #Rednoseday today! #helpthekiddos If you would like to see how #rednoseday works feel free to watch our newest video explaining how you can help!

Unsung Hero-Claudette Colvin

Claudette Colvin

Mrs. Claudette was the first African American to refuse to give up her seat. This incident occurred nine months before Rosa Parks. The NAACP was in the midst of finding a case like this but felt that a teen wouldn’t be as reliable as an adult. When she was a arrested, she was charged for not only giving up her seat but assaulting an officer as well. In the end, her case was appealed but she had gotten pregnant a little later. The NAACP was really cautious as they were in the midst of constructing the Civil Rights Movement. So they later chose Rosa Parks to represent. Mrs. Claudette moved to a different town to have a fresh start and she became a nurses aide. Years later she was recognized for being the first African American to give up her seat. Although she was acknowledged years later, we wanted to you to learn about her as well. #BlackHistory #AmericanHistory #BeAGirlLikeMe

Info and Photo Credit: http://www.biography.com/people/claudette-colvin-11378

 

Humble Beginnings (New Episode)

New Chattin’ with the Girlz episode is up and ready for you for the new year! What are some of your New Year Goals? Remember to take it one day at a time! #BeAGirlLikeMe #ChattinwiththeGirlz #Vlog #NewYear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93PJnyZsgxQ

Behind the Scenes Christmas Project #2

Here’s a behind the scenes look into our second Christmas project as we prepared two Breast Cancer Survivor baskets to surprise two special guests on the Unity with Pam Television show. These two women became Be A Girl Like Me! Inc.’s first ever Diamonds of Perseverance as part of our Diamond of Success Program! Take a look! #BeAGirlLikeMe #BreastCancerAwareness

 

Be A Girl Like Me! Inc. Christmas Project #1

Here’s a a behind the scenes look into what we do especially during the holiday season. This was our first Christmas project of three where we prepared 100 bags of goodies for Santa’s sweeties. These bags went to local kids who may not get everything on their Christmas list this year! Let’s give back anyway we can! There are plenty of children and families that need you! Give a helping hand! #BeAGirlLikeMe #MerryChristmas

Surprised Diamonds-More than Conquerers

We would like to introduce you to Be A Girl Like Me! Inc.’s Diamonds of Perseverance! These two women are exemplifying what it’s like to have obstacles but persevere through their hardships. They are both such a ray of sunshine and we are so happy to have met these beautiful women. This was done in honor of Be A Girl Like Me! Inc.’s third birthday. We had the honor of presenting a breast cancer survivor a basket this past summer and decided that we would love to give out more in honor of B.A.G.L.M.’s third birthday. So today we had the privilege of honoring two more women who are persevering through these hardships and showing the community the value of endurance. Please keep them in your prayers as they continue their journey. #BeAGirlLikeMe #BreastCancerConquerers #BAGLMHEROES #ChristmasBirthdaycheer

I’m So Tired of This! (Single Life)

Alright guys! Here it is the series finale of the “Being Single” series. This last episode is for all of you who are just so tired of being single. It’s okay because we have some awesome advice and words of encouragement for you! Enjoy your holiday season and don’t let the hallmark movies get you down. #BeAGirlLikeMe #BeingSingle #Chattinwiththegirlz #Vlog