So Your BFF Has a BF? Here’s Some Advice!

To the Bestie,

Don’t be afraid to communicate how you feel

When it comes to outside relationships interfering with you and your bestie’s relationships, it can first feel awkward and hard to communicate how you feel. First of all, it is normal to feel jealous, left out, and ignored. It’s okay to feel that way. Have you heard of the saying “It’s not about the action, but about your reaction that makes a difference?” Well it’s something like that. Either way, we want you to understand that it’s okay to feel bad when you see that your best friend has someone and is on cloud nine. It’s okay if you feel that she’s spending more time with her boo than you. It’s okay to miss your buddy. IT’S ALL NORMAL AND PART OF GROWING UP!!

At the end of the day, we want you to understand the importance of communication especially with your bestie. Talk to them and tell them how you feel. If you feel that your bestie has changed significantly, that’s okay as well. Find a good time to sit down and talk with them about your feelings. We will forewarn you that some may take it well and understand and some may not. It depends on the person and how they feel and think at that time. All that matters is that you communicated how you feel. And most of all, when they respond, be open to hearing their side as well. Don’t just say how you feel and block out their feelings. And work along with them and hopefully they will do the same. If not, just give them a little space and try again later. Remember it depends on you and your best friend. Not all friendships are the same when it comes to this issue.

Don’t take it to heart

This is very important because there are a lot of friendships that are never the same because of a bff getting a bf and there’s no communication or lack of communication. “She’s just jealous or she doesn’t understand how I feel.” When you’re growing up, there are a lot of hormones and emotions that get in the way. Then on top of that you have rumors, social media, school, and other friends that may get in the way. So, yes it can be easy to take everything to heart including losing your bff to a new bf. It does take time to get used to this routine, but you can try working with your best friend. Just understand that hanging out everyday may not be the new norm. Work with them and meet them you where you are. It will be okay.

To the bestie with the boo:

It’s Okay to Spend Time with your Boo

You’re in a relationship so it is perfectly normal to spend time with your boo and want to spend time with him. You only have one life to live and that includes having fun and making memories in your relationships, with your boyfriend, and with your family.  Maybe he makes you laugh, helps you get out of your shell, or knows the perfect words to make you feel better on a rainy day. It is perfectly understandable to feel head over hills for him. We perfectly understand.

Learn to balance

Although spending time with your boo is normal, learn the value of balance. This is done by going out with your friends on Friday and spending time with your boo on Saturday. Overextending yourself can be a lot especially when you’re in school and we understand. Just learn and pay attention to how your are spending time with your boo. If you are talking about your boo all day, texting him all day,  seeing him everyday after school, forgetting about your homeworking, and failing to spend time with your family and friends, this is for you. You are spending a little too much time and need to start balancing your time and relationships. You don’t want to catch yourself failing all of your classes and not having anyone to talk to because your life has revolved around your significant other for past two months. Balance is the key. This takes time to adjust to and it will not come overnight. As long as you are aware that you need to start balancing things out, that’s all that matters.

At the end of the day, we want what is best for the both of you. We are sure that you both have a great friendship full of memories, laughter, and fun beyond one’s wildest imaginations. We hope that the both of you were able to take something from this blog and vlog! Remember that you are mega awesome and most of all, a child of the wonderful Creator! #BeAGirlLikeMe #BestieHasaBoyfriend #Advice #Chattinwiththegirlz

 

 

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My Roommate Keeps Taking My Stuff!!

You come home after a long hard day at work and school. You are tired, hungry, and ready to enjoy this beautiful Friday afternoon watching some Netflix and eating that nice slice of chocolate cake leftover from Niki’s birthday dinner last night. You unlock the door, greet your roommate, throw your bags on the floor, and run straight to the fridge. Your mouth is watering, your taste buds are ready, and your stomach is yelling for something! You open the fridge and move the baking soda to the side on the last row only to find….

your cake is GONE!!!

NOOOOO!!!!!

You: Hey Stacie, have you seen my slice of cake from last night’s dinner?

Stacie: Oh yeah, I ate that an hour ago. Good grief that cake was so good. That icing was thick as ever! I have to go back to that restaurant again.

You: Dude that slice was for me! You had like two pieces last night. REALLY!?! (Your heart sinks as you’ve been waiting for this one moment all day)

We feel your pain 😦

 

 

The Importance of Self Love

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How many times have you laid down to go to bed and just felt so bad about yourself? Me!! If you don’t want to admit it, I will. I actually had that moment last night. I was thinking about myself, my looks, and my life and started feeling bad. I just logged off of YouTube looking at all of the wonderful people and their accomplishments and my confidence went downhill. Yes, I’m one of the founders of this nonprofit and we focus on teaching girls like you to be their own role models. Yes, we discuss confidence and how each girl and woman should appreciate what they look like, who they are, and where they come from. Yes, I believe in the philosophy of practicing what you preach. I know what you’re thinking, “Well, why don’t you listen to yourself?”

Well, that’s the million dollar question I ask myself all the time. I feel bad teaching girls and teens about the importance of self love and not listening myself. But this is something anyone and everyone has to work on consistently. Self love is just as important as taking care of yourself on the outside. For instance, when you wake up it is vital to take care of yourself like brushing your teeth, washing your face, taking your bath, etc. This also goes for your spiritual, emotional, and mental development as well. It is vital to upkeep and maintain your confidence, contentment, happiness, etc. This also includes painting your nails, doing your hair, and wearing your favorite outfit to help you feel better on the inside. Additional things like meditating or praying each day, staying positive, reading and watching positive things, and focusing yourself will help as well.

I noticed that as soon as I got into low mode, I stopped myself and started to encourage myself.  There will be times that others will not encourage you. You will need to rely on yourself. This includes telling yourself to focus on those beautiful flaws, telling yourself that you’re beautiful, and lifting yourself up. “Snap out of it, stop comparing. No you are beautiful. You are a wonderful blessing to this world and your family. Life would not be the same without you. You are a child of the most High KING! He loves you more than you could ever imagine.” Such encouragement will lift you up and force you to focus on how awesome you are.

That’s the key, focusing on how awesome YOU ARE! Self love is important in your life. Treat yourself. Encourage yourself. Trust yourself. Most of all, love yourself. Don’t expect others to love you more than you love yourself. Don’t try to find validation through the expression and love of those around you. Yes you are surrounded by love, but don’t let that define you. You define yourself. You know more about who you are more than those around you. You know what you’re thinking. You know what you want out of life. You know how you feel. You know where you want to be. You know your past. You know you. So love yourself. Be good to yourself. Embrace yourself. And most of all, show others by being that example of being the best you and show others how awesome it is to be like you!

Check out this great article on some benefits of self love as well!

Great Fashion Tips!

I love fashion and clothes and seeing what is new but there are days I hate getting dressed. But since that is illegal I forge on. This is when I come to the realization that I am completely bored of my wardrobe. Most of the time a quick fix is buying something new but more […]

via Fall Back In Love With Your Wardrobe — The Oxford Guide

Why Do I Feel Behind?

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There are and will be a lot times that you will work so hard in school and at work and wonder why everyone else is 10 steps ahead. You feel like the work that you are doing has no benefit and you’re just that one person lagging behind everyone else and their achievements. I know one cause of that is social media. Social media is great when it comes to talking with old friends and connecting with family across the country. On the other hand, it can hinder your emotional, mental, and spiritual development as you go through life. You are constantly looking at everyone’s achievements and see how they are getting married and starting a family and you think, “I wish I had that.” It’s all part of growing up and getting older. There will be friends that will appear to be 10 billion steps ahead and everything looks like life is so smooth for them, but it’s really not.

One thing that we fail to realize is often we forget that we are all living this thing called life. Life comes with so many ups, downs, good days, and bad days. And one thing I do know for sure is that everyone does not look like what they’re going through. That’s the crazy part about it. Sue isn’t going to post every single harsh part of her day on social media because that will interfere with the great, lovely, life she is displaying. So instead of focusing on all of the bad things, she may focus on a few. Then when you start your weekend and find yourself going through obstacle after obstacle, you’re thinking, “Sue didn’t struggle like this.” In reality, she did. She just did not post that on her social media page for you to think that.

Long story short, we all have struggles. We all go through bad times and harsh seasons. And most of all, we all have those moments of feeling behind, confused, and lost. BUT the one that forces me to realize what I have is looking at what I have. I think about the beautiful family that God has blessed me with, the opportunity to go to school and learn everyday, and knowing that God has created me, ME and has a great plan for my life. Those things are what makes me feel like I’m right where I need to be and I want you to do the same. Look at all of the wonderful things God has done for you and look at where you are now. I bet you have grown into a wonderful person filled with so much talent. I bet you are so super smart and has a smile that brightens up a room. I bet you have so much potential to do the most amazing things. That what makes you right where you need to be.

Don’t worry about where everyone else is because they don’t live the life you live. You are in charge of that life. And most of all, you are where you need to be to grow and be successful in your life. So don’t worry about feeling behind, but it is normal to have those thoughts. But think about where YOU are in YOUR life and that should remind you of all of the beautiful blessings God has in store for you!

Call for Submissions (Anthology)

This is awesome!!!! We see a lot of great writers here that can take on this initiative as a great opportunity to learn and grow! Go for it!

National Girls & Women of Color Council, Inc. (NGWCC)

DEADLINE EXTENDED: DECEMBER 31, 2017 at midnight.

The National Girls and Women of Color Council, Inc. is holding open submissions for personal stories, poems, essays and other short stories to be featured in an upcoming anthology, Our Voices Our Stories: Advancing, Celebrating, Embracing and Empowering Girls and Women of Color. Editors, Dr. Julie Jung and Dr. Donnamaria Culbreth.

This anthology is a fundraiser of the National Girls and Women of Color Council, Inc., with all proceeds from the anthology going to the National Girls and Women of Color Council, Inc.

We are interested in well-crafted submissions that focus on advancing, celebrating, embracing and empowering girls and women of color psychologically, emotionally, physically and socially. It is through these submissions that we hope to bring awareness, courage, empowerment, and greater solidarity for girls and women of color.

Submission Guidelines

  • No work may be more than 2500 words. Word Count: Essays and short…

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A Task We Should Always Do!!!

H E L L O! I had the privilage of going to South Carolina for a weekend college and career conference. It was absolutely amazing!! I just wanted to share something that the Lord taught me through a message I heard while I was away. If you are single, I want you to know that […]

via without distraction… — Handfuls of Purpose