Every day you go about your life thinking the way you think and acting the way you do not realizing how you value yourself. For instance, for years I tore myself down in the hopes of avoiding the hurt and pain of hearing it from someone else. Over time, I thought that this would help me deal with my insecurities but failed to realize the damage it would cause in the future. I found myself doing this in middle school. I started making comments about my appearance like my teeth, hair, and skin complexion by thinking to myself, “If I say what they’re thinking, it won’t be as bad if they agree instead of them bringing it up first.” This caused tremendous damage to my self-esteem as a preteen and teenage girl. As an adult, I’m still trying to recover from the damage I’ve done to myself. That’s so messed up right!?! I know.
As an adult, I’ve discovered the importance of sharing my insecurities with my sister or at least a very close friend. I shouldn’t validate negative thoughts to protect my confidence. I should say and think positive thoughts to build my confidence. I remember sharing with my sister how I said or thought things to beat people to the punch and she replied, “You’re creating a defense mechanism out of those things when they are not even true!” I thought to myself, “OMG she’s so right!”
Sometimes what we may think make sense are actually building blocks of self destruction. So, be honest and talk. I know you don’t want everyone to know your business. Your hidden secrets are just that. But in reality, what you may think of as something to be insecure about may be what others think is so awesome and beautiful about you.
Listen to one of our favorite songs while you finish reading this blog! Remember you’re lovely!!
Find friends that will build you up instead of tearing you down. So, even during those hard days, you will have friends that will share encouraging words and compliment you. When they do, DON’T SHOOT THEIR ENCOURAGING WORDS! Embrace them instead.
We as girls and women always slam each others positivity but that’s not good for us, our confidence, or our relationships. Take the comments with a smile on your face. Repeat them to yourself and see how much it will help. Being a confident woman or girl is hard. You will not be confident every single day, but you can work on it. Take more selfies, smile more, do your hair, dress up and see how awesome you feel after doing those things.
You have every right to be a confident, happy, person. Speak more positive things to yourself and do more for yourself. Things such as spa days, bubble baths, hair and nail salon visits can do wonders to your confidence as well. Not only is it a great reason to get out of the house but also surround yourself with more positive and supportive people. And besides, you deserve it! We think you do!!!