REALTALK: Sheltering Parents!!

You most likely found this blog by searching something in relation to strict parents, growing up sheltered, etc. Well you’ve most definitely come to the right place because we are here to help you.

Please watch our video above discussing the signs of having a sheltered life/parents and then come back here to read our blog.

Your Side

When you grow up sheltered, it’s as if your parents raise you in a box. Mundane things like having slumber parties, going to the mall with your friends, and going to parties are things that you can’t do. It’s not anything major as to why. It’s just that your parents don’t allow or don’t want you to do it because of safety reasons, past experiences, etc.

For instance, if your family is new to a town or state, they will most likely shelter you from different adventures with your new school pals and slumber parties. It’s not because they don’t like it, it’s just that they are EXTRA cautious especially living in today’s world. But at the end of the day, this is perfectly normal to be a cautious parent. On the other hand, there is a difference between being extra cautious and overbearing. In this case, sheltering parents can be overbearing.

“Who are texting?  No, you can’t ride with them. I will pick you up. Folks are scary now days. I would be scared to do that!” All of these are a few of the many phrases that are heard when your parents shelter you. The problem is that they don’t realize that they are inserting fear in their children. Having older parents for instance, is a major reason why so many teens and young adults are so fearful to move forward with their life. You don’t trust yourself. You’re not used to making your own decisions. And those thoughts, phrases, and memories hold you back during that crucial transition into adulthood. Like said before, this is perfectly normal for your parents to worry it’ s just the matter of realizing what they’re doing.

Majority of them do not realize that they are causing more harm than good over time. The child grows up fearing everything that comes their way and that’s not good. Sheltering parents need to understand that they need to eventually let go. It’s part of being a parent.

Their Side

If you do have sheltering parents, please understand that it’s not easy for them. They have their own reasons for the caution they are taking. So it’s important to keep that in mind if/when they say no to you multiple times.

Take out some time to talk to your parents and hear some of their stories and experiences. Let them know how you feel in a calm way. Communicate how you feel after listening to their stories. This is the best time to do it so they can have a better understanding of what you’re going through. Telling them while they’re rushing to work after you just asked if you could go to a party is not the right time. Choose a good Friday or Saturday morning to go to your favorite coffee shop. Do something different. Since you’re growing up, they will appreciate this time with your regardless. They want to hold on to you as long as they can so give them a little time to do so.

Also, don’t be afraid to talk to them because this will be the first of many more discussions you will have with your parents. College life, bills, relationships, marriage, children, etc. are only a few of the many discussions that you will have to sit down and voice what you want to do and tell them how you feel about the situation. It may seem awkward at first but the more you talk, the more comfortable you will feel. Also if you have a lot of siblings, feel free to involve them if you feel comfortable, but try not to team up against your parents.

Show your parents that you are a mature young adult in need of a little space, elbow room, FREEDOM! Start bridging the gap to earn your parents’ trust. That’s the main thing you are aiming for, their trust. But best believe that if you lose it, it will be super hard to gain back. So if they do give you your space, take that into consideration when you make decisions to go and do different things with your friends. It’s okay to have fun. It’s a different story to make life changing mistakes that can have you injured, with a criminal record, or worse.

Yes, they will say no to parties and different adventures. Aim to be understanding of how and what they decide because one day, you might be in their shoes!

Finally, please remember that you are their child. They want the absolute best for you! They want you safe, happy, and healthy. You might not realize this, but that’s all that matters.

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